Hurricane Chronicles RPG
If you enjoy the Naruto series, and enjoy creative and exciting community writing, look no further than the Hurricane Chronicles RPG!

With the roleplay just beginning, we'll hoping for some people to temporarily fill important character roles with non-playable-characters alongside their own player-characters. This includes not only one of the five Kage, but those of the minor countries, leaders in each village's ANBU divisions, and even one of the nine tailed beasts!

If you're interested, message or email Ketchup after registering!
Hurricane Chronicles RPG
If you enjoy the Naruto series, and enjoy creative and exciting community writing, look no further than the Hurricane Chronicles RPG!

With the roleplay just beginning, we'll hoping for some people to temporarily fill important character roles with non-playable-characters alongside their own player-characters. This includes not only one of the five Kage, but those of the minor countries, leaders in each village's ANBU divisions, and even one of the nine tailed beasts!

If you're interested, message or email Ketchup after registering!
New Beginnings

Thu Apr 10, 2014 10:11 am by Ketchup

Why hello! This is your friendly neighborhood founder, Ketch, and I appreciate you not being frightened away by this overly-obnoxious theme and stopping by to find out more about this fledgling roleplay!

I started this forum by myself, and attempted to get the roleplay off of the ground with a hastily-assembled group of people. Due to real-life commitments, they were unable to stick around and …

Comments: 1

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1[Konohagakure] Week 1: Shoga Empty [Konohagakure] Week 1: Shoga Tue Apr 22, 2014 1:54 am

Cognitios 

Genin
Name: Shoga 

Age: 13 

Village: Konohagakure

Affinity: Katon

Appearance: 
Shoga is a tall child for his age, standing at about 5'3" at his time of graduation. He wears his crow like hair in a top not with a autumn yellow band holding it up. His hair is ruffled, yet combed down on a daily basis. He has dark brown eyes and a lean figure. He wears a crimson red loose shirt with bandages around his wrists. His shirt is covered with a dirty, brown, tight vest. He has pale skin with a twinkle in his eyes and a smile always on his face. He weighs about a hundred pounds and has very little fat on him. He wears dark red pants with brown shuriken holsters on each side. His sandles are a mud brown and worn down, but overall in good shape.

Personality: 
Shoga is a very laid back individual. He is rarely takes things seriously, thus his peers rarely, if ever take him seriously. He has a fiery temper that tends to get him in trouble, and he has a tendency to do anything to get out of trouble. He is an avid player of mind games and strategical puzzles and enjoys laying back and reading a good book. He is well liked by just about everyone he meets, but not very well trusted. 

Background: 
Shoga is a son of a game shop keeper, and comes from a long line of shinobi. His father was one of the only people in his family not to become a shinobi due to his pacifistic nature, which was partially passed down to his son. Shoga decided to become a shinobi against the will of his father in order to protect his younger brothers and to carry on the family tradition.

Stats:

Shoga - Konohagakure, Genin


Chakra: 1,000
Bukijutsu: 300
Taijutsu: 200
Speed: 300

Strength:200

Chakra Control
Ninjutsu: 500
Genjutsu: 500





Sample Chapter:

It was going to be a good day. Shoga knew that a long time ago, of course, this was the day he would become a genin. Shoga had worked for two years for this day, to finally graduate the academy and become a full fledged shinobi for the Hidden Leaf Village. This wasn't a big deal for most of his family. On average, there was a person from his family who graduated once every three years or so. His father was the only one of his siblings not to become a shinobi, and all of their children had already grown and become shinobi themselves. However it was different for Shoga, he was the oldest of his siblings and the first one to become a genin. While his father was not especially happy about his choice for his future, he knew his father would be proud. 

Shoga's four little brothers and two little sisters were all jumping around and being bothersome, as usual. Of all seven of the siblings, Shoga had been the first to graduate the academy, which made sense considering he was the oldest and first one to enter. Even though Shoga found his siblings annoying and portrayed himself as annoyed on the outside, on the inside his heart smiled at his younger siblings, and he greatly anticipated when they would graduate. After a few minutes of his siblings jumping over him and asking persistent questions Shoga finally managed to escape his household and go to the academy. 

The academy was a safe place for Shoga, he was free of the responsibilities of family and he had plenty of friends there. Shoga wasn't big on paying attention in class, but always got good grades by studying outside of the Academy. Shoga was ready for all his work to pay off, he was ready to become a genin with all of his friends who had endured the academy with him. Most of his time at the Academy consisted of Shoga playing Shogi with other students, usually beating them and hustling their money from them. His father was a game shop keeper, and an avid shogi player, so much so that he named his first born child after the game. While Shoga found it annoying that he was named after a board game at first, he eventually began to accept it, then he started to embrace it. After all, no one could make fun of his name if he wasn't ashamed of it.

His family eventually all showed up to the Academy, along with his father and grandfather. Shoga's father was very polite. Although Shoga knew he wasn't happy, he knew his father was proud of him. His grandfather on the other hand was very excited for Shoga, he had been anticipating this moment since Shoga's father had been born after all. On the left to his father his siblings were jumping in anticipation, being restless and rambunctious, completely immature behavior. Shoga could feel his blood pressure rising, wishing his siblings could act normal for a little while, after all this day was about him, not them. Shoga counted to ten in his head five times before calming down. There was no way anyone or anything could ruin this day for him.

After a long amount of speeches and ceremonies he was finally released to his family with his brand new leaf headband and a new sense of accomplishment. Shoga was finally a shinobi. While his family went home with him to have a celebratory meal for him, Shoga's mind was else where, making endless maps of possibilities for the future. He kept on imagining himself as a jounin squad leader, or even  someday Hokage, as absurd as that sounds. Even though his entire family had been shinobi, only his grandfather had ever reached the rank of shinobi, the majority of his family had been chuunin or genin their entire lives, never amounting to much glory on the battlefield.
Suddenly Shoga snapped back from thought as his youngest sister was trying to steal a roll of sushi from his plate. Shoga snapped at her with his chopsticks and finished eating the raw fish. Sushi was Shoga's favorite food, but it wasn't a regular thing to eat at his household. Sushi was very expensive, especially for such a large family like his. This was the reason Shoga always chose sushi to eat whenever he got to choose the family dinner. He always got the same thing; Avocado, Cream Cheese, Crab, and Soy dipping sauce. Whenever Shoga had spare allowance he would go to the local sushi bar and get as many rolls as he could buy. A few times he played shogi with the owners, who enjoyed Shoga's company a lot.

While Shoga had many friends, he didn't really like to play with them very much, they were much to rambunctious and dirty, always playing in the mud and "playing ninja", who played ninja? It was a much more productive way to spend your time by playing shogi or something that challenged your mind, that's what really got you far in ranks. That's why he spent most of his time training his mind instead of his body. Whenever he spared at the academy he would use the environment around him as much as possible to gain an advantage. Usually it worked, but when it didn't he was usually in trouble, his sparing partner would beat him silly. Children are childish, I should play with adults then I'll be more mature, that was always Shoga's though process. Unfortunately it backfired on him, as he had very little physical training as a result of that thought process.

Most of that didn't matter anymore, Shoga had promised himself that he would be a great and successful shinobi, just like his grandfather. Now all that was left was for him to meet his team and jonin sensei, which he had a lot of anxiety about. Shoga would push through that though, his first adventure was about to begin, nothing could stop him now!



Last edited by Cognitios on Tue Apr 22, 2014 8:03 pm; edited 1 time in total

2[Konohagakure] Week 1: Shoga Empty Re: [Konohagakure] Week 1: Shoga Tue Apr 22, 2014 7:42 pm

Ketchup 

Genin
Ketchup
Name: Mononymous-ness works.

Age: Young kid works.

Village: Hidden Leaf works.

Affinity: Cool. Actually gonna have that as my second element :3

Appearance: 
Short and concise appearance. Good idea of what his overall appearance is.

Personality:

Remember to break up sentences where you can.

Cognitios wrote:Shoga is a very laid back individual, he is rarely takes things seriously, thus his peers rarely, if ever take him seriously.

Shoga is a very laid back individual. He is rarely takes things seriously, thus his peers rarely, if ever take him seriously.

Although, you could've used a semi-colon to connect these two thoughts, instead of the comma that you used.

Shoga is a very laid back individual; he is rarely takes things seriously, thus his peers rarely, if ever take him seriously.

Other than this, it explains Shoga's personality well. Wherever you intend to take him with his story, I imagine you have a good foundation to build off of with this. Kind of reminds me of Shikamaru in his desire to get out of trouble at all costs.

Background:

Very simple background that you can take anywhere. You haven't divulged much of his story, which is good; with this, you leave readers to ponder about how he'll be able to carry on the legacy of the family by reading your writings.

Stats: Works. You didn't put 1,000 with Chakra Control, but you did split 1,000 between Ninjutsu and Genjutsu so you're good here.


Sample Chapter:

More places where you can break up sentences.

Cognitios wrote:It was going to be a good day, Shoga knew that a long time ago of course, this was the day he would become a genin.

It was going to be a good day. Shoga knew that a long time ago, of course, this was the day he would become a genin.

You did good right here with connecting two fragments via the comma:

Cognitios wrote:Shoga had worked for two years for this day, to finally graduate the academy and become a full fledged shinobi for the Hidden Leaf Village.

After the 'two years for this day', someone could say "For what?" and the rest of the sentence 'to finally graduate the..." would answer that, flowing perfectly from the first part of the sentence.

Another split right here:

Cognitios wrote:This wasn't a big deal for most of his family, on average there was a person from his family who graduated once every three years or so.

This wasn't a big deal for most of his family. On average, there was a person from his family who graduated once every three years or so.

Alright, enough examples of that. I'm sure you got it, and can spot any others that might be in the rest of the chapter.

Overall, it was a good chapter. There was the sort of disconnected connection between him and his family, with them being so different from him. Yet, they're his family, meaning he does actually care about them in spite of his siblings' rambunctiousness and his father's disapproval.

Go through the application, see if you can fix those run-on sentences, and I'll give it another once-over.

3[Konohagakure] Week 1: Shoga Empty Re: [Konohagakure] Week 1: Shoga Tue Apr 22, 2014 8:06 pm

Cognitios 

Genin
Edited and waiting for re-review. Wink

4[Konohagakure] Week 1: Shoga Empty Re: [Konohagakure] Week 1: Shoga Wed Apr 23, 2014 11:45 am

Ketchup 

Genin
Ketchup
Alright, Cog, you are approved.


  1. Go ahead and post your character profile in the Roster forum for Konohagakure. Keep everything related to Shoga there including techniques, items, and all your non-playable-characters.

  2. When we finally get things kicked off here, you'll post your stats in the Big Bingo Book in the Week 1 thread I'll start then.

  3. Similarly, your sample chapter will also be your first writing for Week 1. You'll post it in the Hurricane Chronicles forum with this title:


[Konoha] Week 1: Title

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